The conventions used in the text:
'By Tempus' Codpiece...' is a thought.
"Oh, Cyric Snot..." is spoken.
Deneir's Dictionary is written.
(BTW, it's fun to curse in the Realms!)

Jansen's Beginning

'By Mystra's Skimpy Underthings, I wish my father weren't so dense. I mean, here I am, about to embark on a bold and peril-wrought quest, and my father, Ram Oakleaf, Ranger of the Dales, won't even see me off. He probably doesn't even know that I'm leaving.' Jansen thought as he trudged along the road to Shadowdale. Today was his fifteenth birthday, and today was the day he began his new life as an Adventurer.

It was supposed to be a glorious life, filled with peril and excitement, dangerous monsters and even more dangerous women, noble Harper rogues and evil Zhent pulsating masses of ooze and pus.

"I thought I taught you better then to be distracted on the road..." a voice called from the side of the path.

And of course my father taught me better then to- Jansen's head darted up from the page he was writing on to survey the forest around him. Slowly he began to scan the woods, remembering which direction the sound had come from. Then, taking into account echoes and distortions, he turned around and stared at his father.

Smiling boldly, Ram looked fondly at his son. 'If I gave Mielikki a blade of grass for every time he's had his nose to the parchment, she'd be an exotic dancer by now,' he sighed. Clearing his throat, Ram started speaking. "Son, today is an important day in your life. The day you choose to go out and make your own fortune in the world. The day you leave the life of an inn hand, to some day return and open your own inn. The day..."

Jansen began to tune his father out. All his life, this was all he had been hearing. In all honesty, though Jan would never admit this to his father, one of the better reasons to go adventuring was to get away from all the speeches about adventuring.

"...and then the orc hordes will come, but with your mighty..."

'But at least he came to see me off.' Jan thought to himself as he nodded absently, agreeing with his father about how he will one day stand tall and shake the heavens. 'Wait a minute. Dad's wearing his sword. He never wears his sword anymore... That's rather odd.'

"And so, in conclusion, I would like to present you with this. May it speed your quest along." With that, Ram unsheathed his sword, planting it firmly on the ground as he turned around.

'No way... He's giving me Elf-Friend? The sword he used to singlehandedly halt the Bleeding Gums Orc army from advancing even further into the Glittering Emerald Forest?' Jansen's eyes began to unfocus as he stared at the sword. 'It's rumored that the soul of Tamaraith Oakleaf, my fifteenth time grand sire, is held within the blade. He used an ancient magic to bind himself there to aid all future generations of the family, and he can even cause the sword to act on it's own... Heh heh heh... If dad's giving me that, there's no way I can lose...'

Just as Jan began reaching for the blade, he father faced him again and handed him a small pouch. "There you go, son. Happy Birthday." Jansen looked at the pouch, then looked at his father as he opened it up. Inside was a modest pile of money, and a wooden disc carved into the likeness of a unicorn. "Two hundred gold to get you started, and a medallion of Mielikki. The same one my father gave to me when I started."

Jansen looked dumbfounded. "Dad, you know that the road to Shadowdale is long, right?" Ram nodded. "And you know that I only have a short sword and a few daggers, right?" Again, Ram nodded. "Well, what if I run into that orc horde a bit earlier then you thought? Can't I have your sword, so I have a better chance?"

Ram drew away from his son, protectivly clutching the sword in question to his chest. "No.... This sword is mine. Go get your own legendary magical sword. What if a dragon decided to attack the inn?"

"Dad, there's only one dragon living near the inn, and it's a copper one."

"So? What if it got hungry and decided to munch on the inn? How would I defend everyone if you had my sword?" Ram shot back.

"Dad... YOU PLAY CARDS WITH IT EVERY WEEKEND!!!! IT'S NOT GOING TO ATTACK THE INN!!!" Jan yelled at his father. Taking a few deep breaths, Jan continued in a more calm, sedate tone. "You, that dragon, La'taral, Li-ong'nal, and that guy from Waterdeep all get together to play that card game every weekend. So can I please have the sword?"

"No. You should be happy that you got the gold. Why, back in my day..." Once again, Jan tuned his father out as Ram sank into the throughs of yet another speech. 'He should have been a bard... Ah well...'

The author's words:

My friends and I were discussing how our characters got started adventuring. I'm playing a ranger named Jansen who has a bad habit of getting lost in his writing that he fails to notice anything that's going on. (JANSEN! STOP WRITING AND START SLAYING ORCS!!!) When it came around to me, I thought for a moment, and started describing a powerful magical sword. And then I went on to explain that was my father's sword, and how he was a rather well known ranger and everything, and that sword was my birthright, yadda yadda yadda. So someone asked me why I didn't have it, since it would make my life much easier. Thus was this story made.

JD Farber
sabreb@erols.com